Do you have a Stalker?
Do you come home to find subtle changes to the photos on your fire place mantle? Do you find your closet doors and bureau drawers open when you come home from work?
This is not your garden variety Facebook Stalking. By the time your Stalker works up the courage to come out from behind the blue glow of his CRT and into your home, it's too late to take any of the precautions Law Enforcement recommends. Your Stalker is already in your house, monitoring your life.
Media is the Stalker's friend. Media perpetuates the idea that only celebrities have Stalkers, that non-celebrity Stalking is just a domestic violence issue. The notion that average women have unknown Stalkers is dismissed and never addressed. Women who find themselves in an unwanted dance with an unknown Stalker are left to fend for themselves.
When the Stalker is unknown, there are no Domestic Violence resources to help because Domestic Violence resources work with women trying to manage, end or get out of a bad relationship.
When the Stalker is unknown, a Restraining Order is useless because there is no one to issue to Restraining Order against.
All of the actions that can be taken to deter a Stalker involve the woman upending her life, becoming a recluse and literally hiding within her home.
I decided, after six years of being stalked, to change the game. I decided to stalk my stalker. I decided to let my stalker have the access to my life that he had been dreaming, scheming and desiring for eight years, probably longer.
This approach is not recommended. The average Stalker is at best a Sociopath, at worst he is a Psychopath. In either case, the Stalker has an inability to identify with your feelings, or anyone else's feelings for that matter. By the time a Stalked Woman comes to the decision to Stalk Her Stalker, she is so frustrated and so isolated that there really isn't any other choice. After all, what does she have to lose? Law Enforcement won't act until she is either dead or hospitalized. Her friends and family have labeled her as paranoid, or just seeking attention. Others in her social circle will have made the decision that she brought the Stalker on herself.
Some of the resources I found, and used, are listed here. I actually engaged my Stalker, and have learned enough about him, his family, his friends, even his employer, that I have begun to Stalk my Stalker.
The Sane Idiot's Guide to Being a Stalker aka How to Stalk your Stalker Gone
Stalk Your Stalker
How to Out-stalk a Stalker
One of the best comedic entries from this blog:
Remember that the Stalker has a unique advantage in his anonymity. You might discover that your Stalker is a person you work with, some innocuous co-worker you rarely see. He could be a neighbor you wave to every morning on your way to work. You won't know he is your Stalker until you stop being worried, stop showing fear, and turn your life into an inviting and welcoming place. Only through interaction, intimate interaction, will you discover your Stalker.
Do you come home to find subtle changes to the photos on your fire place mantle? Do you find your closet doors and bureau drawers open when you come home from work?
This is not your garden variety Facebook Stalking. By the time your Stalker works up the courage to come out from behind the blue glow of his CRT and into your home, it's too late to take any of the precautions Law Enforcement recommends. Your Stalker is already in your house, monitoring your life.
Media is the Stalker's friend. Media perpetuates the idea that only celebrities have Stalkers, that non-celebrity Stalking is just a domestic violence issue. The notion that average women have unknown Stalkers is dismissed and never addressed. Women who find themselves in an unwanted dance with an unknown Stalker are left to fend for themselves.
When the Stalker is unknown, there are no Domestic Violence resources to help because Domestic Violence resources work with women trying to manage, end or get out of a bad relationship.
When the Stalker is unknown, a Restraining Order is useless because there is no one to issue to Restraining Order against.
All of the actions that can be taken to deter a Stalker involve the woman upending her life, becoming a recluse and literally hiding within her home.
I decided, after six years of being stalked, to change the game. I decided to stalk my stalker. I decided to let my stalker have the access to my life that he had been dreaming, scheming and desiring for eight years, probably longer.
This approach is not recommended. The average Stalker is at best a Sociopath, at worst he is a Psychopath. In either case, the Stalker has an inability to identify with your feelings, or anyone else's feelings for that matter. By the time a Stalked Woman comes to the decision to Stalk Her Stalker, she is so frustrated and so isolated that there really isn't any other choice. After all, what does she have to lose? Law Enforcement won't act until she is either dead or hospitalized. Her friends and family have labeled her as paranoid, or just seeking attention. Others in her social circle will have made the decision that she brought the Stalker on herself.
Some of the resources I found, and used, are listed here. I actually engaged my Stalker, and have learned enough about him, his family, his friends, even his employer, that I have begun to Stalk my Stalker.
The Sane Idiot's Guide to Being a Stalker aka How to Stalk your Stalker Gone
The key to getting rid of a stalker may not be to avoid them, but to stalk them right back. This solution will take some vigilance on your part, and therefore, will require a large part of your time for probably a year.
Stalk Your Stalker
Adding insult to injury most recommendations come in the form of things you must do. You, not the stalker, are advised to turn your world upside in hopes it might stop. Law enforcement tells you there is not enough to make an arrest. Nobody or nothing seems to help. When you are at your wits end I suggest you stalk the stalker.
How to Out-stalk a Stalker
One of the best comedic entries from this blog:
6. Ask your stalker to define the relationship because you need to know whether he could see the stalking leading to something more serious like marriage or at least a kidnapping. If he hesitates tell him you really need to have a marriage date in mind so you can reserve the Wiccan Wedding Circle and arrange the paperwork for the ritual blood transfer.
Remember that the Stalker has a unique advantage in his anonymity. You might discover that your Stalker is a person you work with, some innocuous co-worker you rarely see. He could be a neighbor you wave to every morning on your way to work. You won't know he is your Stalker until you stop being worried, stop showing fear, and turn your life into an inviting and welcoming place. Only through interaction, intimate interaction, will you discover your Stalker.
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