The Progression of Lies

This is the Don Stovner I met at the Wynn in June 2008 and then worked with from June 2009 through January 2010.  This is the man who, after my troubles with the Applications Analyst on the Food & Beverage Team at the Wynn, caused me the most problems with Network Engineering Projects.

The photo at the left was taken in mid July 2009, while we both worked for Clearwire in Las Vegas, at a weekday lunch break from our projects.  Don made an effort to reconcile the events at the Wynn and to amend our professional relationship.  We did not work in the same departments or for the same management.  We had no reason to interact while at work other than to go to lunch.

It should be noted, that had the Wynn IT shop been more professional, had they employed proper management of their staff, the affair between Don & I would have started in 2008 when he went to the Wynn, during the period he sent his wife to Russia the late Summer and Early Fall of 2008.  However, because I had seen him with the same group of employees at the Wynn who had harassed me, my immediate response to him was negative and hostile.  These were the employees who made consistent references to Trolls and Ogres, Witches and Princesses in regards to me specifically.  The most common was Princess Fiona, an Ogre reference.

“Aurora” is a significant name for me on many levels.  Most significantly, it was the nomme de plume I was playing with from 1990 through 1993 in regards to getting my writing published.  Before that, it was the reference my grandparents made to Fairies, Fairy Tales and the world they attempted to create in Perris Ca.

However, because of the environment I was in, when Don introduced himself to me at the Wynn in 2008, he tried to be sarcastic and funny and drop a keyword on me to establish a connection.  Instead it was interpreted as him showing me he had already succumbed to the Peer Pressure of the Wynn IT Shop.  Our professional relationship, as a result, was extremely hostile.

By the time Don & I reconnected through LinkedIn in January 2009, my life had drastically changed.  Don asked me for a reference and I gave it to him.  He called me before the request to apologise for his behavior, that he ws under pressure from management to behave towards me the way he did.  I gave him the reference and he said he was transferring to Washington State for the job.  I was working in Real Estate while looking for a Tech job that would keep me employed in Las Vegas.  When I got the call for the contract at Clearwire, I used my LinkedIn Network to send a note to Don to ask about the Telecom company.  Turned out he worked for Clearwire and some of the Wynn IT folks had moved to Clearwire as well.  I took the contract and began working at Clearwire in June 2009.

It was in May 2009 that I hosted a Handfasting in my backyard for a fireman friend in the Pagan Community.  It was at this time, May 2009, that Fireguy123 followed me on Twitter.  I assumed it was my friend and never looked at the account.

I was a fully practicing Priestess assigned to the local Pagan Community and my home was a public meeting location.  I held Sabbat and Major Wheel Celebrations in my back yard and held weekly meetings in my Craft Room.  Just prior to June we held the 2009 Beltane Celebration in my backyard which ended in a 21+ only Pool Party Bacchanalia- inflatable mattresses and group sleeping hosted under the desert stars.  Two weeks after I started the contract at Clearwire I attended a celebration in the desert which involved the ritualistic killing, preparing, serving and consuming a Sacred Goat.

From June 2009 through August 12, 2009, Don made an effort to speak to me or bring me coffee every single work day.  Without fail he stopped at my desk each day Monday through Friday.  He took me to lunch at least 3 times a week.

During that time, at those lunches, he would repeatedly tell me how we were going to have an affair.  That he had decided we were meant to have an intimate relationship.  At the time, my lifestyle did not include any accommodation for married men and their children.  Dogs, yes.  Children, no.

It was understandable he may have heard the rumors or discovered a story about who I was outside the work realm.  It was well known within the Las Vegas Pagan Community that my residence was the new Hedonist Party Destination.  By May, most parties had to be circulated by invitation only due to all the crashers.  The bottom line is that the man in that photo had no place and would not be able to sustain the sort of lifestyle I was currently balancing between Personal & Professional lives.  However, and this is a very important aspect of what was about to unfold, Don wanted a taste of the Hedonistic Lifestyle.  I soon realized that more than anything, he wanted an invitation to the Party.  He wanted to dabble.  As any practitioner of magic knows, there is no such thing as “kind of” doing magic.  It’s like kind of being pregnant.

He threw everything he had at me.  He brought up the Swinging Lifestyle, the Nudist Lifestyle, the Pagan Lifestyle.  He made every effort to convince me that he was a Pagan Man at heart.  His lunch time talk turned to swinging parties, adult sex night clubs.  When his conversation turned to the swinging lifestyle I knew he had seen my adult dating website and made the connection.  I was irritated with the fact that he had obviously done a check on my on-line activity.  I did not give any hint to or admission of having knowledge of the lifestyle, I simply listened and fended off the constant flirting.

In August 2009, I finally had enough of the pestering from Don and decided that the only way he would stop would be to fail.  The first week of August he asked me to dinner 3 times, and 3 times I declined.

I gave him the same standard answers:

I don’t date married men
I don’t mix work & personal life

He began to lay out his marriage for me.  The he loved his wife, that he was not in love with his wife, that he remained married for the sole sake of his son.  He said he had to remain married for at least another 6-8 years, then he could dump her and be free to live his life.  He said he had an open marriage, he had the affairs he wanted to have, and had his life set up where he was able to come and go as he pleased.  He maintained a certain lifestyle for his wife and son and that was the extent of their marriage.  Period.  He was never going to leave her, never get divorced.  Period.  He was happy with his life and he was content with the set up.

Then why are you pestering me if you are so happy?

He told me of the string of Strippers he cycled through his monthly routine.  How he worked in an hour of time around picking up his son from school so he could visit them 2-3 times a week.  He told me how he had a separate home away from his wife and son where he lived when he had enough of them.  The arrangement allowed him to remain married, while still having a life outside the pressures of marriage and child raising.

So basically, I pointed out, you just want a free hooker?  You want me to be one of the rotation?  I laughed at him and told him he was so far off base from knowing who I was it was shocking.

The second week of August, he asked me to dinner on Monday and I declined.
He asked me to diner on Wednesday and I declined.
On Thursday, for the first time, he did not come to the office all day.
That night, I called him and he said he had errands to run all day and was working at night.  I had been invited with a group of friends to see a band play at the Brand Steakhouse Monte Carlo that Friday night, August 14 and I invited him to join us.  I told my friend at the time that what I was about to do brought everything about me, specifically my integrity, into question.  I was about to be very cruel to someone in order to teach him a lesson and hopefully get him to move on.  The girls dubbed him that night “Waldo”, as they determined he looked just like “Where’s Waldo”.

On Friday morning, Don called me to ask if we could have dinner before seeing the band.  I agreed to meet him at 3 Tomatoes and a Mozzarella out on the West side off 215/Rainbow.  Sadly for me, the restaurant bar serves an amazing Rum Martini.  I had 3.  I agonized over having him follow me home to drop my car and I let him convince me it would be a good idea.  He now knew where I lived and I was already buzzed, on my way to total inebriation that evening.  Needless to say we ended up naked in my Jacuzzi, and he spent the night in my bed.  I made him leave in the morning by telling him the sun was up, party was over.  I received multiple calls/texts throughout the day, until finally I told him he could come hang out with me in the pool for the afternoon.  He returned to the house later in the day and remained until the next.  I made him stay away the following Monday.



From the Happily Married Man in June 2009, to the Man Divorcing his wife in September 2009.

During the week of August 16-20 we were seeing each other at Lunch daily and at night after work.  I was planning a birthday celebration for my room mates and had a small group of my friends coming over to join in the Pool & Jacuzzi fun.  So far, his exposure to my life was limited.  The previous weekend he spent at my home was mild, and there were few people around.  I timed my last visit on Thursday, at his Little House off Windmill and Bermuda.  I was there to say goodbye, and leave.  End the affair and move on with my life and my Summer.

The Festivities were planned for my room mate to have just her friends over on Friday night and then all our friends on Saturday night.  Her Saturday party would start between 2-4 and my friends would arrive after 8p.  Don spent the remaining evening and into the next day, Friday, convincing me I was wrong to end the affair.  I let him convince me to spend Friday night with him so I gathered the pups and spent the night.  The next day, Saturday, he came to the house at 9p and stayed the night.

It was that Saturday night in August

In my house in Paradise, we lay together naked in my bed, in my room with the music and swimming and free flowing alcohol and people dancing in the cabana just outside the window.  We lay there in our bubble, speaking meaningless words, in the dim ambient light from the pool deck, he rolled us over so that he was on top of me.

“I know you” I whispered to him.  It was imperceptible, a fraction of a millisecond, the tiniest skip in his rhythm.  And so it began, the story, the fantasy, the romance, all based on a lie.  1991.  Mexico.  The second time I ran away from the Audio Thief.

The photo at the right was taken on August 30.  It was just a few days after that Thursday night in August, just 10 days earlier.  He had established himself as the man I met while on vacation in Cancun in 1991.  He knew details of the bar, the conversation, the music that we danced to, even the fucked up heel on my shoe and that I stepped on his foot with it while we danced.    It was he and Spencer Shockley and a 3^rd buddy in Cancun that night in Senior Frogs, on their way the next morning to Cozemel for diving.   The revelation shocked me because I had seen Fireguy123 had followed me on Twitter in May 2009.  I thought it was someone else until I saw the name.  Now hearing it from Don 3 months later took me by surprise.  For the entire month, up to his birthday, September 21, 2009, he began his push for love and a life together.  The lost love from the bar in Cancun.  The boy who held my hand in the balloon fields in Perris.  He knew so much about my past, events in my life that were so far removed from Las Vegas, things and events that happened years before I ever met Don.  There was no way he could have known some of these things unless he had been there, watching the events take place.  I, and my friends, began referring to him as my Stalker.  We jokingly said that I fell in love with my Stalker.  For the first time in over six years, I found myself face to face with the man who had been Stalking me.

This is the Don who began to profess his true and undying love to me in September 2009.  I angrily told him he was out of line, that using that language, saying those words was completely wrong while he was married to another woman.  I told him I could not be committed to or loyal to a man who was loyal to another woman.  I pointed out how resolute he was about remaining married when we were going to lunch in June, just 2 short months prior.

It is over the next few weeks that interspersed between the stories of horror and woe about his wife and marriage, he declares he is leaving her divorcing her so he can be with me full time. Every day he talked of divorcing his wife and the life we would have together.  He mixes his stories of our future together with little admissions about my past. Over those 2 weeks, he told me that he and his wife had fought the entire month of July and that they agreed to a divorce when she returned from Russia.   So many plans to make, and things to put in place before he could file papers.

Obstacle after obstacle surfaced for him to “work through” in order to be ready with papers when she returned from her summer trip to Europe.  He had to work with his mother to sign a quit claim deed for the Little House so that his wife would not be entitled to the asset.  He had to transfer his gold bearer bonds from the safe in the Little House to a Swiss numbered account to hide it from his wife.  He had to work with his mother’s attorneys to remove his name from any of the Family Trusts so only his son would have access and his wife could not get to the assets.

It was already in the works, the plan was already set.  The only miscalculation, he said, was me.  I came into his life about a year too soon.  I gently reminded him that it was he who chased me and dragged me into his life about a year too early.

Over and over the tales of horror continued – how vile she was, how terrible she was to him, how she abused him physically and blackmailed him emotionally, how she neglected their child to the point of abuse and drank her life away. He lamented the coming custody battle and worried about what his child’s life would be like with his mother, a drunk who couldn’t feed her own child each morning or cook dinner each night for her family. He not only told me these stories about his wife, he also told my room mates, my girlfriends, anyone who was in the room when his marriage was brought up.  More often than not, the conversation turned to how she trapped him by purposely getting pregnant, tricking him into having sex with her without a condom. Repeatedly he displayed bouts of anger at her for stealing “our life” – it should have been us that married and had a family, not her. It didn’t matter anymore; he was getting divorced to live life with me.  He just had to ensure his son was taken care of for the long term, and the divorce had to be amicable

The more he spoke of the obstacles, and the angrier her got at his wife, the more I realized it was all for show. The only purpose these conversations served was to keep the charade alive. Leaving his wife was a central part of the Summer Fantasy, it was the only way to ensure that the intimacy and the “love” would develop between he and I, without it, we were just screwing, and he needed more, he wanted more. Without it, I was ending the affair on my terms, according to my life and my timeline, not his.  Of course I could not waver in my belief in the things he told me, I could not demonstrate doubt and my probing questions had to be strategically placed in our conversations. That was the one thing which drove everyone around me mad, my family, room mates, friends both close and acquaintances – how could I not see the charade?

In the 10 days between his Perris/Cancun revelation, Don worked hard and consistently at proving and establishing himself in my life, both past, present and now, future.  Right after her birthday, during this same period of time, my mother got caught in the California Wildfires.  I had to bring my Grandmother’s dining room chairs to the new house in Pine Mountain.  Don insisted he come with me.  He went so far as to tell me he was going to surprise me because he already had a ticket for Labor Day Weekend down to the Dominican Republic as a resort.  That was why he kept asking about my passport.  He wanted to spend Labor Day on a Beach with me.  Since my family had priority, he was cancelling the trip and cashing in the airline tickets to spend the weekend with me in Pine Mountain.

He knew details about me, my entire life including information that pre-dated the Internet Age, that took him a very long time, using very obscure search terms and keywords, to locate.  I never let on in all the months we were together that I knew he was lying about Cancun.  For the first week of his fantasy, he continually referred to our meeting in Cancun in 1992 and I had to repeatedly correct him.  Even after seeing the date stamped photos he still slipped and said 1992.  He went so far as to create a new email address to memorialize the meeting DOME91 – Don, Ona, Mexico, 1991.  I do admit, however, to playing into the fantasy.

On Sunday September 5 we returned from Pine Mountain and got into my Jacuzzi to get the road off of us and be ready for work the next day.  We had a romantic and wonderful weekend together.  He met my mother and we went to a craft fair together.  It was that night when we got home that he brought up my Air Force history.  He knew specifics, terms, phrases, that without direct access to the records would have taken him years to compile.  It sealed the deal that this man was not who he said he was and he was working with a man named Spencer Shockley.  To what end, I do not know, except that more and more I was beginning to realize that Don’s knowledge of my past coincided with certain events in my life.  Stalking incidences that I had always attributed to Dan Feliz, but had started back up a year after Feliz was incapacitated.

When Don continued his talk of a life together I made him stop.  I told him no more.  As long as he was married there was no talk of love or a future between us.  Period.  That is when he announced he was handing her separation papers when she got off the plane in October.  His mother was on her way to Las Vegas for a mid-week visit.  She was helping him with the divorce attorney and getting the separation papers together to serve his wife when she got off the plane in October – just 6 weeks away.  Over a 3-5 day period we talked through his declarations of love and divorcing his wife and his plans for our life together.  I agreed to be with him and stand by him through the divorce.

We looked at houses and apartments in Las Vegas close to his son’s school.  I told him point blank that any action I take to secure a life for us together in tandem with his divorce was my commitment to him that I would spend the rest of my life with him.  That I loved him and we would be together.  Every day he assured me of our plans.  We talked about how much he knew of my past.  The week his mother came to town, I told him that this affair between us, and all of the details he had of my past were proof of his 18 year search for me since Cancun and a wonderful twist of fate which brought us together, or he was the man who had been stalking me for at least 7 years by my own record and up to 18 according to his own admission who was out to intentionally hurt me – a psycho stalker.  He continued to insist that the reason he knew so much about me was a combination of background checks and the fact that he actually knew me and my family from Perris CA.

For a little while I started to believe him.  I started to believe he was being honest.  My friends were furious and all but tarred & feathered me for my actions.  They didn’t care what my motivations were – he was married, it was disrespectful to the wife and they would have none of it.  I knew by Don’s birthday that I had to leave the Rochelle house.  No one in the Pagan Community was going to allow me to keep my house as punishment for what I was doing.  Even if this was my way of entrapping my Staler, the bottom line is that the wife has no idea and it is not fair to her.  I said, the wife became collateral damage when he cracked into my Air Force history.

Interestingly enough, my illness never came up.  I believe now, in retrospect, that if Don had given any hint to knowing about my illness, I could make the correct conclusion that he read and studied my blog.  He could not risk that piece of information getting out, and it wouldn’t be until December 2010 that I found the specific reference I was looking for to tie Don’s information to my web pages.

During the 4 week period between August and mid September Don confessed to me that he had a form or lung cancer.  He was seeing a specialist once a week, every Wednesday, to see his physician and receive special cortisone and B12 injections to shrink the tumor in his lung.  I had no way to substantiate the validity of this illness, only his word.  The only indication that I ever saw was after a treatment he said involved the physician removing a tiny mass with a robotic arm.  He spit up very small amounts of blood for a few hours the evening of the procedure.  Once the evening was over, there was no indication that he was ever sick and he did not talk about his Wednesday appointments.  About 2 weeks after the procedure, on a Wednesday I asked about follow up, and he said he went to the doctor and he had a clean bill of health.  Later on in October, he told me the biopsy came back clean, no cancer, completely benign.  I never heard another word about his illness again.

The subject of my illness came up in relation to his.  The subject of my decision to refuse all treatment for my condition became central to our conversations. He was insistent that I cancel the DNR.  He made bargains and deals with me revolving around my cancelling the DNR and us getting married.  On he went about how wrong I was, and that for us to be together I had to cancel the directive.  I reminded him repeatedly that for us to be together he first need to be a single man – unmarried.

Don constantly spoke of the TV show Big Love, the HBO series about Polygamy.  He told me his wife wanted a Swedish Marriage – a version of Polygamy.  I asked him how he could even consider it after all the horrible things he had told me about her over the past 60 days.  He said it was for his son.  I told him the only way that would work was if she was on her knees cleaning my toilets.  If she was willing to clean up my shit she could live in my house on my dime.

A few days before he went to see the attorney about his separation, during the last week of September 2009, we sat down again for a long talk about the future.  We discussed that the next 9-12 months would be difficult with his wife adjusting to being divorced.  The actual paperwork would take about 90 days, 3-4 months, but from that point forward we would be living together as planned.  I told him that if I moved out of my house, and he backed out of the plan after his wife got home, that I would make life and everything he knew difficult messy and public.  I reminded him that he was either blessed by Fate and given the unique gift of being rewarded for his life long search and reunited with a long lost love, or he was just a sick Psycho Stalker.  If he backed out he would prove himself a stalker and I would prosecute him accordingly.  It was not a threat.  There were only 2 logical conclusions to what was happening to me - between us – it was Fate or it was his lies.

This is the man who helped me with Ren Fair preparation.  He found my futon and my dress form.  He used his mother’s trailer to haul my gear.  He helped me set up and tear down and he made love to me with cannon fire and fireworks exploding around us in Sunset Park under the canvas tent.  While I was preparing for Ren Fair, he was meeting with an attorney to get the separation prepared for his wife’s return.  He told everyone about the separation and the divorce and about the meetings he had with his mother and attorney

And finally, this is the man who asked the Duchess of my Ren Fair Guild for my hand. Don asked me to marry him at the Ren Faire 2009.  He wanted a June 2010 Handfasting.

On October 15th, the day I gave my notice at the Rochelle house, we had yet another discussion.  We agreed that I was giving up my house to move closer to an apartment we would share.  He had talked me out of every house with a pool I looked at as being too expensive.  Besides he said, I would only be there for 6 months to maybe a year before we would need a 5 bedroom place to accommodate his son and the visitation schedule resulting from the divorce.   I was moving to the other side of town to make it convenient for him to see his son, be close to the school, and be able to live with me.  I gave my notice and gave up my house with a yard and a pool.  After I hit send on the email to my current landlord, I turned to Don and I told him, “If you back out, I will make more trouble for you than you can ever imagine possible.  Your life, your relationships with your wife and your son will become irreparably damaged forever.  I will use every thing I have learned, everything you told me to prosecute you for stalking me.”

His wife returned from Russia four days later and everything changed.  No longer was the attentive Don available.  Instead, he was replaced with a scared, stressed, crazed individual. Don’s wife and son arrived home the morning of the 19th and his mother was arriving on the 25th.  I needed to get my belongings over to my new apartment.  On October 20, the day I received the keys to the Katie Apartment, 3 days prior to the movers arriving at the Rochelle house to take me to the Katie Apartment, I went to the Little House to gather the last of my belongings.  The Boys were at the Rochelle house and I decided to stop by the Little House on my way from Katie to gather my things.  I walked in the front door and immediately noticed how spic and span clean the house was.  I assumed the things I left on the table that morning were in the bedroom, so I headed in that direction.  As I walked through the small house, I noticed something odd.  The only evidence of my existence left in plain sight was Archie’s sweater on the dining table. While I was gone that morning, he collected all of my belongings, all of Archie & Loki’s belongings and hid them in various locations around the small dwelling. It took me nearly an hour, searching in the closet, in drawers, under the bed and stuffed into the laundry room all of my clothes, make up and jewelry.

I called my girlfriend, which was a mistake, because as soon as we hung up she texted Don about the disappearance of my existence from his Little House.  Within moments Don was on the phone to me.  He asked me to meet him at the Little House to let him explain.  I refused because I was packing to meet the movers on Saturday morning.  He came to the Rochelle house and as I packed he explained.  He told me he got a call from his mother that she was arriving today, this morning actually, and he had to get the place tidy, he was just cleaning things up, that was all.  Finally at midnight I stopped the conversation and we went to bed.

The next morning I asked him to please take Archie & Loki to his house due to the stress Archie was under, and he did.  He confirmed that his mother was not coming in until Oct 25th as planned.  That night, over dinner at the Little House, I questioned him again about why my things were hidden, and not in logical places.  Some clothes were under a blanket, some clothes were under the bed.  Some of my toiletries were in the laundry room and some were under a towel at the end of the bed.  None of this made sense if his mother was coming to stay, it would be plainly obvious.

So the story changed.  He received a call from his mother and then his wife.  His wife was threatening to come to the Little House in a cab to confront him.  He said he panicked and began hiding my things.  He said she was screaming at him, accusing him of having another family, that he was abandoning her and their son for his American Family.  He begged me to understand.  He told me he loved me and wanted our life together, but he loved her too.  Please understand, he said, I love her and I just can't hurt her.

Everything stopped.  I immediately snapped to the accusation of the family.  How would she ever come up with that, I asked him?  He said she uses that line regularly.  I didn’t believe him.  The dog sweater, to a person who is unfamiliar, looks like a baby sweater.  Same size and shape from a distance, especially for Toy Breed Dogs.  I could feel the panic rise within me – his wife was at the house and saw Archie’s sweater.  The bile rose in my throat.  While a person would not dare hurt a child, people think nothing of killing a dog.  I stopped listening.  It was only 5:45p so first I called Paradise Bay Daycare and made an appointment for Monday.  Then I called Banfield and made an appointment for a 7a drop off the next morning for the necessary vaccines.  I whisked my dogs away and hid them with explicit instructions that no one was to go near the dogs ever, period.

I picked up Archie & Loki and I left for the Rochelle house.  I told him as I left that the children were not part of the gamble we made, and if this was how it was going to be then I would ensure the playing field and the hit ratio were evenly matched.  With the boys safe and secure, I moved without incident to a highly secure gated community.

It was on November 1st, of all days, that Don came to the apartment in the late evening.  He arrived looking happy and relatively stress free.  I was coming down the stairs to greet him and as a result we were at eye level.  When he hugged me I smelled perfume.  He told me she wanted a hug before he left.  Yes, Don, to rub the smell of perfume on your neck.  We began to argue and that was when he finally admitted he was still in love with his wife.  I love you and I love her.  I just can’t hurt her I do love her.  The ensuing argument was unbearable.  The realization that he had duped me, while regaling me and everyone I knew with stories about my past and his horrible wife and his impending divorce.

Over the following few days, Don insisted he loved me, needed me and please just wait for him.  I told him the only way I would give him the support and understanding he wanted was to stick to the plan.  We chose this apartment together for the sole purpose of allowing him to be close to his son through the holidays.   I told him there was no need to continue the charade now that the Separation had been filed – it had been filed right?  No, he said I misunderstood.  He never filed separation papers, he simply reviewed them with the attorney.  He promised to still pay his portion of the rent and utilities by November 15 at the latest.  I insisted Don set up the cable in his name at the apartment to establish residency.  He was contributing to the household by paying for groceries and one utility in my name, but his entire contribution was transparent.  There was no record of his establishing a residency with me.  To my surprise, he established the cable in his name and had it set up within a few days.

A few days after the argument, he began mention getting ready to move out to comply with the separation.  I asked him what he meant and he said all the paperwork was submitted, that he was officially separated.  I asked when he was going to move everything over and begin to introduce his son to the new schedule in preparation for the divorce. He then said no, he would not be moving in with me, we would be living at the Little House and visit me and the wife.  His new plan was to live alone , in an area of town which he had just manipulated me into moving away from.  The Rochelle House was just 10 city blocks from the Little House.  The apartment he convinced me to rent was across town, a 15 minute drive on the freeway between the two houses.  He made me feel like a fool regarding the separation.  He was convincing in his insistence that I misunderstood.  The fight we had over him not filing was intense and it was just a few days ago.  Now he was telling me I misunderstood the fight and he did file for separation.

Right after Thanksgiving, Don told me at dinner one night that he lied about the separation.  He never saw an attorney in October about separation.  The only legal paperwork in process was the INS Adjustment of Status for his mother in law.  We had a terrible fight.  I realized his plan was to start the fight and end the relationship.  The fight was emotional, physical and horrible.  I was having more and more difficulty controlling my anger that this Stalker had intentionally revealed himself for the sole purposes of causing me and my life intense turmoil and trauma.  He refused to admit that he made up the Cancun and Perris stories – he insisted the only lie was the Separation papers.  The continued denials only made me angrier.  Now, the earliest he could file for divorce was February.  I reminded him of our conversation in October when I gave up my house.  He proceeded to tell me how much he loved me and needed me.  He promised that no later than January 15 he would make all the necessary filings to get the Divorce on the schedule – to get into court and get divorced as fast as he could.

By that point, Don had set up a routine for 2 households.  He was spending his days and early evenings with his wife and son at their home, and at night he came to my house to work until after midnight.  He would come to bed and then get up with me at 7a to go take his son to school for 8a.  This routine had been going on all of November and into the early part of December 2009, and we had been fighting about it the entire time – with me making accusations and him steadfast in his denials and lies.



The photo at right was taken in early December 2009, while Don was running himself ragged with the 2 households.  Our conversations at this time were revolving around his lie from October and his running between the 2 houses.

You can see the realization has settled upon him that everything he had done, everything he had put in motion between August and October of 2009 was coming around to blow up in his face.  I believe, at this point, Don knew I was acting my way through the affair for the sole purpose of gathering evidence and establishing dates and timelines.  A large portion of the Las Vegas Community knew about our affair, and everyone believed without fail that I was head over heels for Don.   I repeated his declarations of love to me to everyone, my family, friends, even my LA/CA friends.  The gossip amongst our mutual friends was on fire.

He had painted himself into a corner with me and with his wife.  The realization of what he had done to both of us, the deception and disrespect towards his wife and the uprooting of the home she was building for her son, and the manipulation and games he played with me, bringing chaos and destruction to my life along with a good dose of unhappiness and depression, was settled firmly on his shoulders and the burden was visible on his features.

I got sick the week before Christmas, and Don came to take care of me every day.  The hurried and rushed manner in which he administered his “care” caused me further stress and made me even sicker.  He came at odd hours, randomly and without pattern.  In the ensuing arguments to come he reminded me that he took care of me when I was sick.  The implication being, he took time away from the wife and son he loved to care for his friend, who also just happened to be his Mistress.  In reality, the random patterns which were stressing me out were his feeble attempts to shake his wife from discovering where he really was and what he was really doing.

It was the hardest thing I had ever done.  I even lied to my best friend Matt, telling even him that I was in love and this was Fate.  By December 2009 I already knew it was a psychological sickness, an obsession this man had with me and with my life.  I had to hide this knowledge from everyone, without exception.  I was completely alone, in a relationship with a man who had been Stalking me for a provable 7 years.

Christmas came 2 weeks later and I spent it with my family & friends in California.  He spent it with his wife & son in Las Vegas.  It was during this break that I pulled all the triggers on the background check for Don.  I made all the phone calls and ordered all the reports while I was in California.

I discovered he had lied about owning the Little House.  The truth was that his step father bought the house in the early nineties and it had been in his mother’s name ever since.

I discovered he had no investments, no gold bonds, nothing.  He didn’t even own property, not in Nevada and not in any other state.

The background and financial reports I received showed no connection to any trust.  In fact, everything he had told me about himself turned out to actually be true about his mother Carole Stovner Krieg.  Everything he had told my friends and I over the previous 5 months was a complete fabrication.

I discovered that he had lied about the circumstance of his son’s birth.  His son was not the child his wife was pregnant with when they left Russia in 2000 as he had said.  His son was not the child his wife trapped him into marriage with.  Instead, his son was conceived and born in the US one year after he married his Russian Bride.  The child which his wife carried out of Russia as an unwed mother was miscarried the day before they landed in Las Vegas.  Don married his Russian Bride knowing full well she was not pregnant and knowing he was not trapped.

In January 2010, I accepted a position with Clearwire in Los Angeles.  I moved out February 7 and Don came out to see me on Valentine’s Day weekend, 7 days later.  Our conversations were becoming more and more stressed in their infrequency.   Every conversation had a new deluge of verbal assaults against his wife as a woman, a wife and a mother.  Every conversation focused on the overwhelming obstacles he had to face in order to be free so we could have our life.  At every conversation I reminded him that we made promises and commitments to each other.  I had given up my life; I had to deal with the grief of losing a life that I had adored to be with him, I had deal with the humiliation from my friends because of my commitment to him.  He was doing the same for me.  Right?



It was on Valentine’s Day, after we got home from a day at Palos Verdes Peninsula that he told me the Adjustment of Status was extended to May 2010.  He had arrived on Friday afternoon, stayed with me in my bed through Sunday and waited until just prior to leaving for Las Vegas to drop the information on me.  He could not file for divorce until June 2010 at the earliest.  I told him that day I would not wait.  I sent him home and told him if I was available and not involved in a relationship by the time he got his act together, I would see him.  Otherwise he would have to deal with the consequences.  I remended him of the consequences once again.

By February 2010, Don looked nothing like the man I had met at the Wynn in 2008, or like the man I worked with in Las Vegas at Clearwire.  His look and his behavior had completely changed.  The photo at the right was taken 8 months after Don began his affair with me.  He had completely changed who and what he was in those few short months.

I didn’t realize he had moved back in with her as soon as I left, until that weekend in California that February.  Since he was spending more time with his wife and son, talking to me and texting me was difficult, especially since she already knew there was an affair.

Around the first week of March, Don made the mistake of telling me, while in the presence of my sister, that he would be coming out to spend my birthday weekend with me.  When I repeated his plans, the first thing out of my sister’s mouth, which Don overheard, was “He is spending Easter Weekend with you and not his Kid?  Are you sure about that?”

As soon as he made the connection between my birthday weekend and Easter he began bargaining with me because he “had to hide eggs” on Easter and spend the afternoon with his son.

By the end of March, just after his son’s birthday but before mine, we had another argument on the phone.  This time I ended it – no more excuses and lies.  I gathered all of the electronic evidence of our affair and sent it to his wife.  For the next 30 days I researched all things stalking related and coordinated my plan of action.

First I sent 2 letters spaced apart by 50 days each requesting the return of my stolen diary.  I tracked all of the information Don knew and determined a good portion of it which fell between 1990 and 1995 was taken directly from the diary stolen in 1994. I then began interviewing attorneys and found one who would take the case for $30k to be paid in installments.  The minimum settlement, if my case won, could be $100k plus the recovery of my litigation costs.    (Check your email for the Google Docs link to the Case Files and Letters)

Four months passed and no word from Don.  No response, no reply.  Then in mid-July, my phone rang.

It had been almost 30 days since my last demand to Don for my diary on June 14th.  He called me on July 18th to tell me the Adjustment of Status was finished and he was filing for divorce.  I told him when he had divorce papers in his hand, I would see him.  On July 20th, he called me from Brix in Sunset Beach to ask me to dinner.  He emailed me the receipts from his attorney and the initial uncontested simple divorce papers.  They were being served on July 27.

He then told me his wife was leaving on August 30 to go to Russia for 8 weeks to sell her apartment.  When he told me she was leaving the country again, and that he had spent money on the plane tickets and not the divorce, I accused him of picking up the lies right where he left off 8 months ago.  He promised me it was all true and that to prove his sincerity, he was not going to sign the airline tickets over to his wife unless she signed the divorce papers.

We discussed the situation, the lies, and the stories.  He told me that he never stole my diary that the reason he knew so much about me was because he had gotten into trouble as a kid and was sent to Juvenile Hall and a work program.  The program was run by Catholic Charities and he was assigned to my grandfather’s needs while building out the Perris property from 1972-1978.



He left for Air Force Basic Training the year before my grandfather died in 1978, and according to Don, he remained in touch with my grandmother via the Perris Property and the Salt Shaker on Arroyo Parkway in Pasadena.  He said the last time he had spoken to her was in 1997 – which was accurate because she was still working and had not gotten sick yet.

The weekend of July 22-25, Don stayed in Long Beach with me.  We went for a walk on the Beach, and talked about everything.  We discussed all the issues and the attorney.  He assured me over and over that he wanted our life, everything we talked about and planned the previous summer.  We stopped on a dune in front of Life Guard Shack #3 and we were looking out into the Harbor watching the lights.  That was when he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him, one year from today on this beach.



August 2010 was spent dealing with the intricacies of the divorce and renewing our relationship.  It was also the month we dealt with the drama his mother created surrounding Don, his divorce, me and the Family Property. It seemed odd to me that his mother, whom he said repeatedly throughout our affair, wanted his wife “gone”.  He told me his mother consistently told Don to “get rid of her”.  So it seemed rather strange when Don was finally “getting rid of her” that his mother would be standing steadfast in his wife’s corner.  Don spent 3 weeks with me in Long Beach and one week in Las Vegas with his son.

During the first 2 weeks, his wife badgered him about taking his son to Russia.  Don has always maintained that each time his wife took his son to Russia she would call before her scheduled return and blackmail him into agreeing to whatever her fancy was that day, or she would not return to the US and she would keep his son in Russia.  I never saw the paperwork, but Don said he had his attorney help him put his son on a Homeland Security No Fly List.  His wife would have to get a court order to lift the No Fly order which would mean cancelling the trip all together if she insisted on taking Don’s son out of the country.

The weekend of August 9 and 10, I went to Las Vegas to see Don at the Little House.  It was that weekend his mother threw some strange fit and demanded he leave the Little House.  She even posted a slanderous Facebook update about Don using drugs and made remarks about me.  Don told me then that his wife received the letters I wrote demanding my diary back and she passed them on to his mother.  Once he gave me that information I immediately told Don to write an email to his mother demanding she begin eviction proceedings against her.  After he sent the email I told him to get a restraining order against his mother for both himself and his son because her facebook post intimated that she was headed to Las Vegas to take Don’s son out of the state.





On August 16-19, Don had to move out of the Little House.  He had received an eviction email from his mother and he had sent that email on to me.  His mother made it very difficult on him, even calling the police and threatening to arrest and charge with trespassing anyone who attempted to help Don retrieve his belongings.  I took pictures of the entire ordeal and then took Don to Green Valley ranch for an afternoon at the Euro Pool.

I was very satisfied with the eviction drama.  While his mother and his wife were busy invalidating the divorce papers Don had filed on July 21, his mother and her husband established for me, that Don had been “renting” the Little House – rent is not always in the form of a monthly check.

If I accomplished nothing else, I now had proof that his mother had rented to him during the period he spent stalking me.  It was one of the goals the attorney I had consulted told me to establish and I was successful.  Even if she did go to an attorney to validate my letters, she made the wife and her son’s marriage a priority over being named as a negligent 3^rd Party in my Stalking case.  Her actions proved to me that her attorney, if she really saw the letters and really saw an attorney, gave her very bad news about her liability in her son’s little game.  Don delivered a copy of the restraining order application the next Tuesday and he was wafting for the order to be served.



In mid August, Don’s son had a summer break.  Don gathered his son and brought him to Long Beach to stay with me for a week.  I was shocked and surprised that he introduced his son to the situation.  Don told me it was naturally occurring proof of his commitment to me and to us, proof that he was processing the divorce and proof he was not stalking me.

Two weeks prior to his wife leaving for Russia, he was notified that she had hired an attorney in the uncontested divorce proceedings which forced the issue into another classification, contested divorce.  This new process could take up to 18 months according to Don.  Additionally, his wife’s attorney made a stink about the trip to Russia, and according to Don, he was advised to send her to Russia despite the new change in the divorce process.  The restraining order for his mother was still not served or processed.

The drama over Don bringing his son to Long Beach was unbelievable.  First Don received notice from his wife’s attorney that she objected to Don allowing her son to be around a Practicing Pagan.  The subject of religion, which had been absent from the marriage, the home and the son’s upbringing were suddenly an issue.  Next, I bought us tickets to Dave Matthews Concert at the Hollywood Bowl.  My neice Racheal stayed with Don’ son while we went out.  This turned into a complaint that Don was not allowed to use babysitters ever, at all, for any reason.  More obstacles to Don’s divorce.



The photo on the right was taken the last week of August 2010.  At this point, any resemblance to the man I met just one year ago was completely erased.  Don had transformed into an entirely new person, a new way of being.

Don sent his wife to Russia without receiving signed papers in return for the tickets.  It seemed odd to me that a man, who consistently bragged about getting what he wants all the time and always winning, could not get his way when it came to divorcing his wife.  When she got on the plane, I knew the divorce and all the drama Don created around it was just another story, another lie, another game.

For the month of September, Don and his son spent the majority of their free time in Long Beach with me.  I think I went to Las Vegas once in that time.  The restraining order against his mother was in limbo at this point, as Don had one meeting with the City Attorney and then nothing else happened.  He told me repeatedly his attorney was handling it and he would let me know as soon as he got an update.

There was a lot of talk and planning in terms of the divorce and preparing Don’s son for the visitation and new way of life when his mother returned dominated much of the time we spent during September.  For a few weeks, Don’s wife intimated to him and to their son that she may not return to the US.  This of course caused Don’s son to experience extreme stress and caused much drama.  Then he received the second draft of the amended papers.  I printed them out for him as he had not read them.  We spent a Saturday morning going over the documents.  He was crushed, shaken and very upset.  The divorce papers limited his custody and vistation to nothing.  The alimony and child support was nearly double what they had agreed to.  We worked through each section and gave a detailed schedule complete with Parenting Plan.

The plan for the remainder of the year was that Don would spend alternating weeks in Long Beach and Las Vegas and I would do the same so that he could visit his son.  Thanksgiving and Christmas would be spent with me in Long Beach because his son wanted to spend those holidays with his mother.  For New Year’s, I would go to Las Vegas so that Don could see his son in the early evening and we could ring in New Year’s together.  This plan for New Year’s caused a lot of hassle for planning due to our friends being in 2 cities and my agreement to be flexible with the visitation schedule.

October came and with it came the Las Vegas Ren Faire.  Don went to my guild and received a very cold response.  He then went to another guild and received a welcoming response and membership to the guild.  For the entire first week of October, I spent educating his son on Period costuming, weaponry, life in the 1600′s, etc and so on.  Don wanted his son to experience the Ren Faire and hopefully develop a love and passion for the hobby as I had.

That entire weekend was horrible.  The fair was fun and we enjoyed ourselves.  We headed back to the house to drop off Don’s son so we could go to the After Hours party at the new Guild.  Instead, we got in a fight, a very bad fight.  The arguing was insane.    The argument ensued because he made a comment about his mother and his wife and I asked about the restraining order.  Since the time period for serving the paperwork had long expired, I confronted him about the truth behind the restraining order.  I grabbed a pair of scissors and went to his wife’s closet.  He followed me and I began asking him again about the truth behind his wife going to Russia and the restraining order against his mother.  He continued to lie and with each lie I cut into a piece of clothing hanging in the closet.  By the time I started in on the fourth piece of clothing – having cut to ribbons the first 3 – he finally stopped lying to me and started telling the truth.



There was no restraining order.  When he filled out the application and met with the City Attorney, he was denied the order.  He lied to me and dragged out the story for 3 months before telling me the truth.  As for allowing his wife to go to Russia without signing the divorce papers, he said his attorney told him to send her because it would save him money.  He would not have to pay any alimony or support for the 8 weeks or 2 months that she was out of the country and their son was in his care.

When I packed my last bag and started out to the car with it, Don got physical.  He grabbed me and threw me down to the ground.  He held me on the ground lying on top of me for 30 minutes before he let me up.  I left the house and started to head home.  I didn’t get 10 miles before he started calling me, begging me to come back.

We met at an Applebee’s on Fort Apache and talked for 2 hours.  He said he was embarrassed about not being able to get the restraining order – that he had made a mistake and waited too many days to file between the initial incidents.  He told me he had filed the restraining order on the very next business day, but that was a lie.  It was actually 7 days later that he applied.  As for sending the wife to Russia, he was telling the truth, the attorneys made it happen and it was out of his hands.

The next weekend he and his son came to Long Beach.  We discussed in detail the events which would be unfolding over the next 8-10 weeks including and up to the Holidays.  The plan was to allow his wife to come home and settle in before sending his son to her.  We agreed that sending his son to her immediately would only play into her poisoning their son against Don – the very issue Don was most worried about.  Don met with his attorney and the plan was set.  Upon her return she would not receive the November 1 alimony payment unless she signed the amended divorce papers.  The custody would be 100% shared, with their son spending time in both homes.  Their son would go to his mother 3 days after her return and come back to Don 4 days later.  Everyone, including the attorneys, agreed to the plan.

Don found an apartment to move into on Oct 15 and we began preparing to move his belongings to the new place that weekend.  At the same time, his wife needed more time in Russia so he extended her tickets by one week, making her return date October 25 instead of the 18th.  I bought him an entertainment center for his TV and a bunk bed for his son.  We settled into the new apartment.  The next weekend would be our last with his son in Long Beach until after the New Year.

The morning of the 25th Don and his son left Long Beach at 4am and headed back to Las Vegas.  That afternoon, Don received word that his wife would be delayed until the afternoon of the 26th.  On the evening of the 26th Don called me.  I asked him how things were going and he said fine.  I asked him if he had seen her and he said no.  I asked him if his son was doing ok and he said yea I guess.  Turns out his wife called him when she arrived and asked to pick up their son from school.  The plan of waiting 3 days to enforce the custody and visitation was completely abandoned.  Don drove out to Long Beach the very next morning.

With November came a new set of drama.  Don went to see his attorney on November 10.  On November 13 he told me that his attorney advised him to wait until December 1 to file any paperwork on the divorce.  Up until this point, Don had involved me in every decision.  We prepped before each attorney visit and debriefed after.  All the decisions were discussed and evaluated together as a team because the outcome would affect both of us.  On November 10, Don had the choice to move ahead as planned or wait and delay the divorce even longer.  He did not even tell me of his decision until nearly 5 days after he made it.



Needless to say, Thanksgiving was stressful.  He refused to acknowledge that his decision to wait until December 1 to file paperwork had a tremendous effect on me and he wanted to hear none of it.  He made the decision and that was that.  We talked in the days leading up to Thanksgiving and he promised to be truthful about everything – I reminded him that his confessions were interrupted by his wife’s trip to Russia and his son needing all of his attention.  It was over the Thanksgiving weekend he told me that my grandmother contacted him in April or May 1991 and asked him to go to Mexico while I was there to make sure I was safe.  He said she purchased the airline ticket and he contacted his buddies, one of them being Spencer Shockley.  He said he promised both my grandparents he would look out for me and he had been doing just that since I was child in Perris.  He knew all the intimate details about the Air Force because I told my grandmother and she told him.  Don told me that my grandmother would talk to him for hours abut me, and often times repeated things I had confessed to her – and that is how he knew so much information about my past prior to Las Vegas.  The years between 2000 and the present he confessed he had to use the background checks to fill in the details.

Despite his confessions, the Friday after Thanksgiving I threw him out and told him not to come back.  He intentionally delayed the divorce and waiting until December 1 was unacceptable because there would be another delay pushing the divorce another year.  I accused him of lying, of intentionally delaying the divorce.  We fought over the phone for a week before he finally told me the truth.  Or at least a version of his story that sounded most believable.

Finally, on December 8 he told me the real reason he decided to wait.  He took his son with him to the attorney to show his son what was happening and to involve him.  His son told the attorney point blank that he did not want to live with his dad, he did not want 50/50 custody and he did not want his parents getting a divorce.

Don felt that if he waited he could give his son time to adjust.  But I knew the truth.  I knew that the mistake Don made on October 26th is what brought us to this point.  Had he stuck to the plan and enforced the custody and visitation, his son would have adjusted to the environment by the time they went for the December 8 appointment.

Don stayed in Las Vegas for much of December.  He blamed work but I knew he was using the time to spend at the house with his son and his wife to try and smooth things over.

He came out to see me on December 23rd and stayed until December 26th.  We had a pleasant enough Christmas.  However, as he left on the 26th, he told me the New Year’s plans had to change because he had to work.  This threw everything I had planned for the end of the year into a hassle.

We argued over the phone for the remaining days on whether or not he wanted me in Las Vegas for New Year’s.  The end result was that yes he wanted to see me over the weekend.  The new plan was for him to work from 4p to 2a and we would meet at 2a to finish the night’s festivities.

When I arrived at his apartment, he was a mess.  He was running around frantic one moment and then passed out on the couch the next.  He left the apartment 3 times that afternoon to “go to work”.  Back and forth he went.  I realized the second time he left to “go to the office” that he was actually splitting his afternoon and evening between the house with his wife and son and his apartment with me.

I left the apartment to meet my friend for dinner and watch the Fireworks on the strip.  I heard from Don several times throughout the evening and then around 1130p he turned his latitude off and stopped returning my text messages.  I knew when he turned off the Latitude that he was at the house with his wife.  At 1:30a I left the restaurant and headed to the apartment.  The plan was to meet at the M but with Don hiding his location from me I knew we were not going to meet at the M.  I called him at 1:50a – we were to meet at 2.  He was frantic, accused me of drinking and driving.  I screamed at him where the hell are you why is your location hidden.  He refused to answer and told me he was at the office and would be at the apartment in 10 min.  I was already at the apartment waiting, when he pulled into the parking lot 2 minutes after I hung up the phone from him.  He was too close to be at the office; therefore his arrival was proof for me that he was around the corner at the house.

Our relationship ended in the early morning hours of New Years Day 2011.  His wife called me at 4:30a and wanted to speak to me, to meet with me and to talk.  Don had told her that he could not get away from me that I came to Las Vegas uninvited.  He admitted he was at the house with her from 11:30 to 1:30 when I had called and he had champagne with her.  I accused him of finding time to ring in the New Year with the woman he said he hated but not with me the woman he said he loved.  That was when he told me “I love you but I love her too.  Please understand I love her and I just can’t hurt her. I don’t know what to do”.  I tried to leave with all of my bags but he stopped me and once again got physical with me.  I ended up running out of the apartment with only my purse and my laptop.  I grabbed his keys so he could not follow me.

I got to her house at 5:30.  Don sent the police to the house on a domestic battery charge and they arrived at 6:15a.  He didn’t show up until 2 hours later at 7:30a, an hour after the police arrived and 3 hours after I had left him in his apartment.  He called the police to stop his wife and me from talking, comparing lies and stories and generally untangling his deceit of the past 2 years.

For 40 days after that night, I heard nothing from Don.  Then on February 10 he began to use twitter, Facebook and MySpace to post messages which reflected back to our affair.  I sent my attorney all of the screen shots and log of activity.  As a result, the entire incident was dismissed and swept away as if it never happened.  Don continued to post updates referring to me or our adventures together.

I finally called him on his BS on 3/11.  I had had enough of the game and when he suddenly pulled all his postings down by deleting them, I called him to tell him that I had the screen shots.  Since he was so worried about who was looking at his updates, I thought I would do him a favor and send the logs to both my attorney and his wife.

And so the saga continues…………………….