In the beginning I was scared. I was rife with terror each Spring and through the Summer, only relaxing as the leaves turned and the air cooled. I did all the things recommended: hiding behind anonymous internet "handles", ignoring the events as they occurred and going about my life as though nothing out of the ordinary was happening to me.
For most of the years I had been stalked, I truly believed it was The Audio Thief. Part of my ability to control the fear and terror of the stalking was my firm belief it was The Audio Thief. I wanted it to be The Audio Thief. I needed it to be The Audio Thief.
Then in 2008, when it was abundantly clear that The Audio Thief had not been, had never been, stalking me, I became enraged. After five continuous years of the same pattern, I finally got mad. By the Summer of 2009 I made the decision to change the game. I decided to stalk my stalker. I decided to let my stalker have the access to my life that he had been dreaming, scheming and desiring for at least six years, probably longer.
In August of 2009, my bedrock of belief was shaken to it's core. I came face to face with my Stalker. It took nearly a year before I could even begin to process the reality of my mistake. All I had to do was let him talk. For the better part of six months, he told me about my own life. He confessed he had done extensive background checks on me, specifically my Military service and my activities in Long Beach between 2003 to 2006. But the information he related to me were highly personal. Relationships I had, places I frequented, and all of it long before I had moved to Las Vegas. When he began relating events, places, people in my life which pre-dated the Internet Age, I became terrified. I realized, too late, that he already had unfettered access to my life. No amount of Stalking Victims Protocols would deter this man.
I actually engaged my Stalker. I wanted to know why. What was so special about me that he spent money and shockingly large amounts of time tracking me, watching me, getting to know people in my life? Until August of 2009, he was unknown to me, a complete Stranger. I had been terrorized by this man for six yers, I had a right to find out why. I learned enough about him, his family, his friends, even his employer, that I began to Stalk my Stalker.
Some of the resources I found over the years, and used, are listed here in A Stranger Obsession.
This approach is not recommended. The average Stalker is at best a Sociopath, at worst he is a Psychopath. In either case, the Stalker has an inability to identify with your feelings, or anyone else’s feelings for that matter. By the time a Stalked Woman comes to the decision to Stalk Her Stalker, she is so frustrated and so isolated that there really isn’t any other choice. After all, what does she have to lose? Law Enforcement won’t act until she is either dead or hospitalized. Her friends and family have labeled her as paranoid, or just seeking attention. Others in her social circle will have made the decision that she brought the Stalker on herself.
Turning the tables on your Stalker is risky business. But when there is no where else to turn, what choice do you have?
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